Breastfeeding a 13 month old baby

This past couple of weeks I feel like I have been questioning myself a lot, about whether to return to work and when should I stop breastfeeding

I had decided that once I returned to work, breastfeeding would gradually stop. I know legally work would have had to let me have time to express milk if I wanted but in care work, especially when I’m in the community on a one to one basis it isn’t practical and I wasn’t going to make a fuss about it. I thought I would see how we went with morning and night feeds and take it from there. Now I’m not returning to that job we can continue feeding but this past couple of weeks I have been thinking it may be time to stop.

Breastfeeding was hard to begin with but I have loved it and feel very lucky that we have managed it for so long, being 13 months now I think we have done pretty well.

The last week or two though, where Lucas used to have a feed then fall asleep during the night, he has started holding on. I’ve been struggling to unlatch myself and as soon as I do he wakes crying and won’t be passified with a dummy. He also plays more during the day, he will feed but then scrape or latch on hard without feeding which isn’t pleasant now he has 4 teeth grinding into me. I feel myself wincing and trying to hold him away instead of cuddling him into me.

So the options I have come up with are

  • Stop being soft and get on with it
  • Stop breastfeeding and express milk for him
  • Stop breastfeeding during the day except for the one before his nap and still feed at night, my worry with this is that he will wake more during the night knowing it’s the only time he gets booby
  • Stop breastfeeding during the night and give him a bottle of milk or water instead, my worry with this one is I know he won’t accept it straight away and we then start having night battles
  • Stop breastfeeding completely, he’s old enough to have cows milk when he wants milk. He has food and water the rest of the time. Comfort him but persevere through the battles until he forgets all about the booby

I don’t know what to do for the best and will most probably still be debating this with myself for the next few weeks x


15 Comments on Falling Out Of Love With Breastfeeding

  1. You have to do what is best for you. I fed my second for 4 months and then my third till he was nearly four and that wasn’t my choice. He didn’t like other milk and as it went on for so long he used me as a comfort as much as for milk which made it hard to get him to stop until I actually had to strap myself up so he couldn’t get to them!

    • I think Lucas uses me for comfort as much as milk now. 4 is a long time, that must have been very hard trying to get him off you then x

  2. Breastfeeding for me was really difficult in the begining, with all 3 kids, my youngest was fed for the longest till 10 months we managed because we topped up with a bottle so it was easier to wean her, and after 10 months i just had to, i needed to loose weight, my body couldnt properly heal until i built up my muscles and the diet i needed to do i couldn’t breastfeed, so i had to do what was best for us both, she was also biting and wow does that hurt! I went through alot of emotions, and feeling guilty during the weaning period, so i understand its difficult but you need to do what is best for you too, and you have done great exclusively breastfeeding all this time, its not easy! Good luck. Hugs xx

  3. You’ve done so well and you’ve got to trust your instincts as to when’s the right time. Don’t worry about things like sleep, everything works out and you don’t know, it might not cause any disruption at all!xx

  4. You’ve done amazing to have done 13 months. I struggled to breastfeed both my boys and ended up expressing for the first 8 weeks and then went onto formula after that.

    Trust your gut on this one I think as only you will know when the time is right. My colleague recently returned to work and gradually weaned her off little girl off it.

    Good luck!

  5. 13 months is a great amount of time to have breastfed. Abbey weaned herself at that age but I did feed my others longer. I found when I stopped that they suddenly started sleeping through the night – they saw it as a comfort in the end. It’s a decision only you can make

  6. My youngest daughter is 19 months now and I’m still breastfeeding. I also went with the flow and I let her keep doing it as she enjoys it. For the past months she has been only breastfeeding before she goes to bed and when she wakes up in the morning. Recently this has changed as now she stopped breastfeeding at night. It just happened from one night as she just fall asleep on me and didn’t want to breastfeed. The next night I tried to do the same and it worked so she kind of stop on her own. Now she only breastfeeds in the morning but I don’t think she will stop this one any time soon as she is really desperate for that one. I have the feeling that it will be like this for a few more months but at least it is now just one feed. Sorry for the long comment, I got carried away, lol 🙂 x

    • Haha thanks for the long comment. Maybe I should continue for longer and see if Lucas weans himself of it x

  7. I’m going to be in a similar position in a few months when I return to work. My daughter already doesn’t breastfeed that much during the day, so I’m hoping by then I can just BF her in the morning and at night, and she can have cow’s milk at nursery. I know I’m allowed to express at work, but I’ve never had much luck with the pump, so I don’t think I’ll bother. She’ll be 12 months at that point – I never thought I’d even last 12 weeks! #bestandworst

  8. It’s such a personal decision, with my first I went to 11 months, and my second is showing no signs of stopping. I definitely have days where I do not want to do it any more but then I want to keep him being a baby as long as I can. To be honest I’d be happy if he just slept without needing feeding 🙂 #bestandworst

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