When did you last visit an elderly relative? Yesterday, last week, a couple of months ago, Christmas?
I make sure I visit my Grandma at least once a week, not only to keep her company but check if there is anything she needs support with around the house and to give Lucas quality time with his Great Grandma. He’s lucky to have three Great Grandparents so I want him to know them while he can.
The Grandma I am talking about is 85 and lives on her own, she is independent and still goes out doing volunteer work once a week and seeing her friends at the Women’s Institute once a month.
You know when you see someone and they all of a sudden seem old? That’s how it seems with my Grandma now, she appears more fragile somehow. We recently converted her bath into a walk in shower as she was struggling in the bath and wanted a walk in shower to enable her to stay as independent as she could for as long as possible. It can be the smallest of things that we take for granted she may need support with, when I visited this morning there was a bottle of bleach on the side as she was waiting for someone to pop round so she could ask to open it, her grip is just not strong enough now. She knows we all have families, jobs and life’s to lead and doesn’t want ‘to put on us’.
When I went to visit her on Tuesday she commented that she hadn’t seen anybody since I had visited on the Saturday. That’s 3 days with no one to talk to or just keep her company for a while. I have written about loneliness in the elderly before and I think I always associated it with people that have no family or an inactive lifestyle but my Grandma has 3 children and 8 grandchildren. I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day sometimes and I understand people have their own things going on but is it that hard to call round for half an hour or in passing visit to see if she needs anything doing?
Anyway, on Tuesday my Grandma had obviously been thinking about the time she had spent alone and asked if I would support her to get a personal alarm for in the house. Quite rightly she said that if she had an accident on the Saturday after seeing me, it would have been 3 days until I would have found her. That is obviously an upsetting thought for both of us but she wants to be pro-active in reducing this risk. I looked online and there are a few companies that do them. We decided to go with Lifeline24 as I had dealt with them before with work and they were the most reasonably priced.
We opted for the annual plan which costs £119 and works out as 3 months free rather than paying monthly. There was also a £39 set up fee which I expected them to set the base up but they didn’t so I wasn’t too impressed with that. We had to set it up and do the first tests which I think should have been included in the £39. Apparantly the £39 is setting it up to contact the call centre but that’s what you pay either the monthly, annual or lifetime fee for so basically I think the set up fee is a rip off.
That being said, we ordered it on Tuesday and it was delivered Wednesday. Myself and my Grandma feel much better with her having it in the house. There is a call button on the box and a pendant that she can wear as a necklace or bracelet so if anything was to happen she just presses her pendant and it automatically rings the call centre that is manned 24 hours a day for 365 days a year. They can talk to her through the box, whether they can hear my Grandma or not they can then contact her nominated people who have keys to the house to go and assist her.
She has also bought herself a walking stick this week as she is finding it harder to walk. I love that my Grandma is being pro-active and making these decisions for herself when she feels ready and whilst she can but at the same time I can’t help but feel a little sad x
LaaLaa says
Aw I think it’s good you make the effort to visit your grandmother, it’s lovely you still have her around – I still have mine. She’s getting the odd ailments as life goes on but it’s such a blessing to still have her, even though you always want to remember them being so active.
Sam | North East Family Fun says
Ah it’s important to try and keep your independence when you’re older I think – I hope I get to still meet with my friends when I’m older just like your grandma x
Liz Mays says
These are some good points. I worry about some of my relatives feeling lonely. That Lifeline24 box sounds so helpful.
Sarah says
It’s really lovely of you to make time to see your elderly relatives.
I only have one grandparent, and the majority of my family. Aunties, Sisters, Cousins, Grandchildren & Great Grandchildren visit her pretty much every week as a big family gathering. xx
Rhian Westbury says
I think it’s so important to visit older relatives because a few hours out of your day can mean so much to them. My nan is only 76 but I try to see her every week because she likes the company x
Rachel says
I second this, it’s so important to visit your grandparents. I meet my grandma at least twice a week for coffee and lunch. It’s nice to have a catch up with her! xo
Claire says
What a sweet post – it’s lovely to make sure people are feeling thought of and remembered.
Tara says
Such an important post. I lost two grandparents within the space of 5 months last year, you never know when it’s going to happen.
Fashion and Style Police says
Good you are talking about this and taking time to see your elderly relatives. Many abandon their elderly relatives.
Dannii @ Hungry Healthy Happy says
I live about 300 miles away from my only living grand parent, but I try to see her as often as possible, as I know I would regret it otherwise.
Jessica says
Good question. In the country I came from, extended family is normal so grandparents normally live in the same roof as the kids. However, my set up is different and it’s been seven years since I did a visit.
Rachel says
I am over 200 miles away from my Nan, so in answer to your question, 2 years ago. That said she Facetimes me all the time x
Hannah says
I always try and see my grandparents as much as I can but I need to do it more
MELANIE EDJOURIAN says
My gran was pretty independent until her late 80’s, she had a stick so she could get out and about.
Francesc says
Its so important to visit elderly family as often as possible, I know that for some its quite lonely and life gets in the way of regularly visitig but it makes all the differnce to them!
Kira says
My Grandad lives about an hour away so it’s difficult to go visit him so regularly but when we can, we do. He lives on his own in a small flat which is perfect for him, except for the flight of stairs!
Jenni says
Love that your Nan Facetimes, my Grandma has a mobile which she never turns on x
Jo says
My nan and grandad live a 10 minute drive away from me but it takes 50 minutes to walk it with the kids (as we don’t drive). I really should see them more often. I’m lucky I live so close
Leanne says
Luckily both my Nan and Gran live close to me so I see them quite often!
Ana De- Jesus says
It is amazing that she is still so independent but it makes me sad that she hadn’t seen anyone in three days. Poor thing.
Melissa major says
Very important subject to talk about, I don’t get to see my nana as much as I would like as I live in 100 miles away, wish I could see her more