No, I’m not pregnant. My Lucas is staying an only child for the foreseeable future. However, Nicole from Dear Little Lucas has been writing down her fears and excitement of her Lucas becoming a big brother to their baby girl, Iris in a few weeks x
So with only a matter of days-weeks left, the fears and the excitements are certainly creeping in and i’m certainly feeling the reality of Lucas’ behaviour and the fact it can either go one way or the other once Iris is born.
I think we’re all naive when we plan to extend our families. I certainly thought of all the good thoughts and ideas and pushed the negatives to the back of my mind. It’s something we’re all so quick to forget about as the idea of the perfect family with 4 or 5, ect… takes over, naturally of course.
Lucas has been a complete challenge over the past few weeks, reverting back to a baby like stage. Playing with his bum after pooing, instead of telling me like usual, not using a fork or spoon at dinner times, occasionally waking 6 times in the night, whining, throwing things, chewing his clothes and toys and just regressing. This worries me a little, but i’m guessing this is just normal behaviour for a 2 year old toddler who’s going through the terrible twos but also feeling to imminant change that resorts in him becoming a big brother.
Heres a few of my excitements and fears I have with becoming a mum of two.
EXCITEMENTS
The photo opportunities – This sounds strange, but I LOVE taking photos, can you guess? but I can just imagine the heart melting photos of my newborn daughter, like the ones we took of my newborn son and then even better, photos of the two together! Monthly Iris updates, and monthly sibling photos. Something we did the first year of Lucas’ life, and the sibling photos monthly, will be so lovely to look back on. The monthly photos of Iris will stop after a year like Lucas’ did, but the sibling ones i’d love to continue until they’re old enough to tell me to go away.
Squishy newborn cuddles – I miss the days where Lucas would lay in my arms, breastfeeding or bottle feeding and we could sit and cuddle. I can’t wait to have a toddler laying on one side and a newborn on the other.
Giving Lucas a friend for life – Siblings should be friends and I want them to be close and get on, so when they’re teenagers they want to help each other out, with the little fights they’re destined to have too. I just look forward to Lucas never feeling lonely.
Iris copying Lucas – I can’t wait until she picks up his cheekiness and learns from her. Especially when he starts being the protective big brother, and she looks up to him.
Seeing Lucas grow to love her – He’s amazing with babies, until he gets bored and the jealously kicks in, so watching him with her, wanting to cuddle her and just loving her will melt my heart. I hope that he grows to love her 95% of the time… 100% is far too optimistic.
FEARS
Lucas adjusting – It’s inevitable in the first few weeks, even months, Lucas is going to have to get used to the change and the realisation he’s not the only one in our lives.
The night times – Will Iris waking up wake Lucas up? How will he deal with her crying? How will he cope when she moves into his room and it becomes theirs? How will she cope? ect…
Looking after both on my own – I wonder how will I cope, i’ve worked in childcare before but it’s so different on my own. I’m sure it will become second nature, I have had 9 children, with help but still, 9 to look after at one time, so hopefully.
Not being able to leave the room – I don’t feel like it’s a safe idea to leave a 2 year old in the room with a baby, even if its just me popping to the toilet or into the kitchen as he likes to pick babies up and cuddle them, tickle their faces and other things. I’m sure i’ll get less anxious the older they both get.
Finances – It’s going to get more expensive to have two, two to feed in time, two to cloth, more washing, more toys, the works.
I’m sure the positives will outweigh they negatives, but it’s going to be a challenge i’m sure.
Bethany Naismith says
I think all of these fears are totally understandable when thinking of bringing another child into the family, especially the one about her son adjusting.
Savi says
I love she’s articulated both the positives and negatives and I completely hear her. Gorgeous photos btw 🙂
CHARLOTTE EVANS says
I’ve not had the pleasure of having a baby yet but this was so beautifully written, and I am getting pretty brood so the photos melted my heart! I helped bring my cousins up and everything she’s describing sounds totally ‘normal’ xx
Anosa says
It will definitely be an adjustment for Nicole and her family especially for her Lucas but I am sure as mentioned the positives will outweigh the negatives
Kathryn Watson says
What adorable photos! I think it is always scary but worth every fear once your child is here xx
Fashion and Style Police says
Beautiful post. The fears are understandable but they would be besties am sure.
anthea says
I didn’t have any fears, I just knew I wanted another child (or two as it turned out) I went from one to three (twins … and not planned!) very quickly. My eldest was 14 months when her sisters were born and although hard it was wonderful and she was involved every step of the way. I don’t see it as negatives … just different and different can be magical!