Attachment parenting, raising a natural child
Introduced into the mainstream by Dr William Sears, and centred around natural child-rearing methods, Attachment Parenting is a growing trend among today’s new parents.
Based on the Attachment Theory in Developmental Psychology, the aim of Attachment Parenting (AP) is to form a strong emotional bond between the parent and child. This bond promotes empathy and helps the child form secure, healthy relationships later in life.
Goals of Attachment Parenting
Dr Sears’ theory promotes 8 goals, which parents should strive for.
- Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
- Feed with Love and Respect
- Respond with Sensitivity
- Use Nurturing Touch
- Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
- Provide Consistent Loving Care
- Practice Positive Discipline
- Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life
Though the boundaries of Attachment Parenting are wide and varied, there are many common practices which advocates use to help them attain these goals.
Natural Childbirth and Home Birth
While not all Attached Parents choose to give birth naturally, many do. A growing number of women are now choosing to give birth naturally, whether in the hospital, at home, or in a birth centre.
Extended Breastfeeding
Many Attached Parents not only breastfeed their infants but also practice extended breastfeeding, (breastfeeding past the first year). In addition to the bonding and obvious emotional benefits, extended breastfeeding can provide, this practice has been proven to increase intelligence and both physical and emotional health in toddlers. These benefits can be tracked even into adolescence. WHO and UNICEF recommend that children initiate breastfeeding within the first hour of birth and be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life. From the age of 6 months, children should begin eating safe and adequate complementary foods while continuing to breastfeed for up to 2 years and beyond.
Baby Wearing
One of Attachment Parenting’s main ideas is that the more you can keep your child close, the better. With this idea in mind, many advocates of this movement have chosen to carry their babies and toddlers in baby slings or wraps.
Experts say that “Attached” babies communicate earlier and learn to speak earlier. This is quite likely because they are often carried in slings at eye level, letting them follow conversations more easily.
Organic Foods and Natural Health
Recently, families have realised the importance of organic, pesticide-free food for babies and young children.
Likewise, a growing number of families are seeking more natural choices in medicine. Homoeopathy and other Eastern styles of medicine seek to bring the whole person to better health, using natural herbal-based remedies, rather than treating only the symptoms.
Homeschooling, Unschooling and Co-operatives
Attachment Parenting begins with at least one ever-present, stay-at-home caregiver, so it is only natural that many parents then choose to transition into Homeschooling, Unschooling, or another parent-involved form of schooling.
Another common choice in Attached homes is to join a cooperative. In both Schooling and Babysitting Co-operatives, a group of parents alternately share responsibility for childcare and teaching of all the children involved.
Attachment Parenting is Centred around the Child
Overall, Attachment Parenting is about focusing as much time, affection and attention as possible on your child. Attached parents use practices such as natural birthing, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, and co-sleeping, among others, in an effort to create physical health as well as healthy bonds, a capacity to empathise, and an emotional confidence and well-being that will stay with your child into his adult life.
Attachment Parenting Benefits
Attachment Parenting is a combination of many different practices. The idea behind it is to respond to the child’s emotional needs. It’s a rather primitive way of parenting because it has to do with instincts and keeping the child with a parent as much as possible. Also, little if any “expert” advice is used.
Different people practice different aspects of AP. Common ones are extended breastfeeding (usually at least two years), co-sleeping, and baby-wearing. Gentle discipline is also used, with the aim to teach, not punishing the child. Not all people do all of these things, though most are aware of the benefits of the practices. Some people find that not all the practices seem to work for their children, and such observations are a large part of this style.
Co-sleeping is having a family bed that everyone shares. The baby sleeps with the parents from birth until around eight or nine years. Rails are placed on the bed so the children cannot fall out; other times sidecars are used. This is sometimes seen as unsafe but if you follow the safe sleep 7 guidelines, the risk is minimal.
Babywearing is when the mother or father wears a sling where the baby stays for most of the day. The idea is that the baby stays as close to the parent as possible, which soothes and makes for a more contented and calmer baby.
There are a lot of objections to these practices by “experts.” Many claims that this involves “giving in” to the baby, and that he or she is getting spoiled. In fact, this is not true, because a baby cannot be spoiled until he or she knows not only what s/he needs, but what s/he wants. Experts feel that there are a lot of health risks involved in some of the practices, but APers will attest to the health benefits.
This is considered a good way to raise children because it promotes a loving environment and good self-esteem. Because children get their first and most important influences from their parents, it is important to give them good ones. This type of close and loving relationship makes for better relationships later in life and sets up the child for good future interaction with others.