The UK’s birth rate is at its lowest in fifty years, and for the first time ever, deaths in the UK are expected to permanently outnumber newborns.
The reasons for this are manifold. One of them is that some people are simply choosing not to become parents. But there’s also the fact that even people who do want to become parents can find they’re blocked from doing so.
The good news is that while these obstacles are real, there’s also often a solution. In this post, we’ll run through some of the most common barriers that prevent people from making their dream of having a family come true, as well as some guidance on how to overcome them.
Relationship Instability
It’s hard to plan a family around an unstable relationship, or when there’s no partner at all. People rightly have a sense that the quality — or lack of — their relationship will have a big impact on their baby’s upbringing, so are hesitant to commit if they have doubts.
There are two things to remember for this. One is that there’s no such thing as the perfect relationship, but searching for one can become an indefinite pursuit. The second is that things like couples therapy, solo parenting via egg/sperm donor/adoption, and even co-parenting with a platonic friend can all be viable options for overcoming these issues.
Fertility Issues
Around 17.5% of the adult population have trouble conceiving, and that figure rises with age, with around a quarter of adults aged 35-39 experiencing challenges getting pregnant.
Testing early during the conception phase can help to highlight any issues that might make conceiving more difficult. If found, many couples opt to choose a sperm donor, take the IVF route, or, for more complex cases, look at surrogacy. The science behind these treatments is more advanced than ever, with thousands of babies born via these methods in the UK every year.
Financial Anxiety
It’s understandable that people have anxiety about how much money they’ll need to raise a child. The cost of living seems to be rising all the time, and every article on the cost of parenting puts the figure into the many thousands of pounds per year bracket.
But those costs are often overestimated and are not necessarily a true reflection of what it costs to raise a child. Starting a baby fund as soon as you think about getting pregnant, researching the benefits and tax credits you will be entitled to, and also remembering that babies don’t require perfection — just enough — can all help to alleviate the fears.
Thinking They’re Not Ready
The idea that someone isn’t ready to become a parent has become a cliché. Virtually every parent thinks it at one point or another.
It’s worth remembering that having anxiety about becoming a parent can signal both that you care and that you’re self-aware, and those people typically make for great parents. If you find that you can’t move past this feeling, then speaking with a therapist to unpack the root cause can help.
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